When I was little I never knew what was going on around me, I never knew my mother was an alcoholic, I never knew my father never loved me, but know I know all of this. I wish I would've known sooner to save the disappointment. I always used to be so close to my mother, but because of all that she's done, I hate being around her. I know shes trying to act better, but she still has never changed. I have two brothers and one sister. We were all that each other had, but when my brother, Brian, got a girl friend, everything changed. His whole personality changed. Myself and Brian used to be so close together, but now that relationship is gone, it's so awkward now. Brian forgot all of us because of her. I know that he wouldn't stay here forever, but he left in the worst way possible. On my 12th birthday my two brothers got into a argument. Jim was angry at Brian because he left me at the house to go shopping with Rosa because it was raining and the party was outside. But the night before it was Rosa's daughters graduations party and he made sure that everything was done. My brothers were father figures for me, and Jim knew it wasn't right of Brian to do that to me. After that fight, they haven't talked since, it'll be two years now. My mother took Brian's side because he was always "the golden child" because he never complained about my mothers drinking problem. Jim doesn't talk to my mother either. I know that Brian cares about Alia (Rosa's daughter) more than me, I try not to think about it to much, but people point it out to me all the time, it upsets me because then I think about the old times when myself and my brother were best friends. Maybe about a month later my mom was really drunk and her and Brian got into a fight. It got very bad, bad enough that my brother packed his bags and moved in with Rosa. I remember when he told me that everything would be okay, and that nothing would change, but that was a lie, a total lie. Everything changed. My mother usually blames me for everything. I remember that one night when she was drunk and she told me that I was a mistake, that she never wanted me, it kills me every time I think about it. Brian and Rosa got married in Las Vegas without telling anyone, I was very upset. Now they had a beautiful baby boy named Stephen. Jim and his wife Val, are also having a child, I found out on Thanksgiving. The stress of my life does not end here. My sister Alycin always bothers me about my school work and makes me not even want to go out with friends because she puts me in such a bad mood. It's hard to balance out things in my life because no normal 14 year old goes through this. My friends try to relate to me but they just don't understand. When all this was going on I was very depressed and though of suicide many times. But then I found a forum that gave me the opportunity to vent and talk about my problems which I think, saved my life, because before this, I kept everything bottled up, this is why I made this forum. I want to give everyone the opportunity that I had, because I really think we could make an impact on other people's lives.
Thank you.
